


Giving it Your All

by jjournal



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Depression, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-14
Updated: 2013-01-14
Packaged: 2017-11-25 11:47:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/638585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjournal/pseuds/jjournal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony finds himself head over heels, but Steve loses himself along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Giving it Your All

**Author's Note:**

> It's bittersweet but really mostly sad.

It was too much sometimes, like when he turns to look at him and smiles. Wide grin, red lips stretched over his teeth. 

Nobody had ever smiled to him with such abandon. But now he got it regularly, prompted by the most ridiculous of things. 

_“Can I have a sandwich too?”_

_“Remind me to never willingly call Coulson again.”_

_“What do you mean you haven’t seen Star Wars yet?”_

 

Joy. Joy. Joy. 

And he found himself addicted to the joy. Using every excuse he could, every idea in his head, to find more time to spend in his company. More words to say to bring the smile back to him again. 

But it got harder. Every time… it would take more words to pull out the ghost of the previous smile. More time, more ideas, to find an empty space to fill by his side. 

Life was even harder. Pushing and pulling and tugging at his attention every which way, while his heart refused to budge. And that was painful, being split apart. But the heart couldn’t live without the brain and the brain would not continue without the heart. 

So he had to make a choice, walking into the living room late at night and spotting him staring mindlessly at the television. He couldn’t make it though, he couldn’t dream of not waking up to the tousle of his growing blonde hair. Not seeing the profile of his amused face when they all sat down to watch a ridiculous movie. 

He sat by him on the couch instead. Head and heart suspended. And Steve continued to stare at the screen, face empty. 

There wasn’t anything he could say to elevate Steve’s pain. Nothing he could do to distract him - nothing but sit by, emotions coursing through him, muted by fear. 

The same fear drew him to move, slide his hand into Steve’s and squeeze gently. He got the faintest tensing of fingers in reply and his blue eyes looked over to Tony’s, his lips didn’t move, but his eyes smiled – just a little. 

And that was enough.


End file.
